Questions from Noe:

1. What is it like being in the game industry?

First and foremost it’s a gig. And even better, a gig that relates to my education and interests.

My first boss used to cut me off me mid-rant and say, “Y’know, this is a lot better than hauling rocks around. Trust me. I’ve done it.” He’d say this, lift his chin sagely, and stare off somewhere for a beat. And that little reality check would work. I’d stop, forget about all the seemingly endless details that would have me stewing or stressed; I’d step back, feel a grin form, sometimes quicker than others, and nod agreement, even if occasionally somewhat resigned.

Back then, almost 10 years ago, I worked as a production artist building, painting, writing, or designing whatever needed to be done on the day. During the five years I spent at Dynamix, a development studio owned by Sierra in Eugene, Oregon, I survived the tumultuous pace and arduous conditions of the job, thereby experiencing a lot of the worst aspects of the business of making big league AAA video games, PC games anyway. Eighty hour weeks, mediocre pay with diminutive annual raises, several rounds of nasty & demoralizing layoffs, shoddy and erratic management, until finally Dynamix (more on Dynamix here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamix) as a whole got the pink slip in 2001 when Sierra shut the studio down.

I left vowing to never work in games again. I moved to Vancouver, Canada and enrolled in a one year film school, had a blast, finished and realized I’d need a gig again to pay off the massive debt that one year school had been. And, what a surprise, of all the places and occupations I considered, games were the thing that most appealed to me as an immediate vocational choice. Reminds me of that old film line, “Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in!” Except I approached them, and did so on my terms. For example, I did not want to again be a production artist, more specifically, did not again want to feel pigeon holed or unable to affect my own professional destiny.

Subsequently, my experience working in the industry now is, though related, vastly different from working in it then. Sure, there will always be reasons for stress or exhaustion, yet the validation I get now from my co-workers and projects, and from my contribution to same, far outweighs anything I might think of to bemoan.

That probably seems like a long and round about way to answer. The short version would be to say that I find I thrive in a gig that challenges me creatively, technically, and where I’m afforded great opportunities to learn, home my skills, and people to exchange notion and knowledge with. I like a job that has a lot of social interaction, where people are all brilliant in their own ways, and every day has some degree of new adventure infused into it.

Although similar, no two game companies are the same. Each has its own culture, which can be a very good or very bad thing. Some folks really enjoy a stifled, micromanaged, pigeon holed, assembly line, abandon hope all ye who enter here kind of environment. I prefer a culture that’s as minimally corporate to the point where it is still professional and respectful of each and everyone involved. I don’t like sweatshops, having worked in one, though I have friends that do, kinds of people easily put off by the kinds of dynamic changes or adaptation or proactive mutation I find I quite enjoy. A few of my friends like the high pressure areas because the money is better, or the city culture denser, like LA or San Francisco. I grew up in the country, and prefer being close to water and woods, so Vancouver suits my green soul more, even tough perhaps the projects are a bit less adrenaline laden, the wages a bit less wallet warming.

As a level designer, I’m merging my background as an artist, my interests in game mechanics and spatial compositions, my educational background in iconography, communication, story telling, social interactions, and architecture. I hope to make my own games someday; for now I help make other people’s games better. I would also like to do a lot of other things, and eventually those things may pull me away from games, away from corporate dealings and the aspects of production and marketing and sales I’m less fond of. C’est la vie.

For now, game design is my gig, and I like what I do.

2. What are some of the things or pieces of advice you could tell somebody who wants to get into the business?

Diversify your foundational knowledge and skills as much as you can that you might better step comfortably outside the proverbial box. Art, literature, culture foreign and domestic, economics, history, film, theater, sports, science, etc. Anything and everything can add to the mix, and I’m always shocked when some obscure bit of info stuck away in my noggin ends up being the very thing that inspires a solution or alternative to a problem that’d seemed otherwise intellectually insurmountable.

Certainly you should be up to speed with contemporary video game contexts and precedents; however, games also perpetually try to push into or exploit new areas, new genres, new affectations, or at least, new and viable target markets.

Corporate game production is ultimately held accountable to or hog-tied by a fiscal bottom line. Make no mistake, video game production is big business and working for a developer or publisher is always affected, if not utterly governed, by money types. Understanding how business works would be a huge help for you as well, as you’d then understand about market, net vs. gross, sell in vs. sell through, distribution, market windows, OEM packages, etc.

Most importantly, though, you’d understand how a schedule breaks down into man hours versus milestone or deliverable dates, and that man-hours boil down to dollars. Time management is a huge aspect of game development because despite all the creativity and determination, eventually time versus money versus resources informs, if not blatantly decides, the issues or features or choices leads and managers and developers and publishers must make about a project or product.

Other advice? Networking is good, always helps to maintain healthy dialogues with other game makers, as well as people in related industries like film to TV or animation or any of the humanities. Not even so much for getting a gig as for being in the know on all fronts when presenting yourself. Not to be confused with being a know it all, as another huge tip is to always maintain a degree of collected humility and cultivated warmth when dealing with anyone in the industry, at least until you know them well enough to act otherwise.

Games attract a lot of strong personality types, which can be both good and bad, or at least, lead to lots of social awkwardness if anyone comes on too strong, or inversely, to passively. Being proactive is always a good thing; being assertive can be good when cleverly or appropriately applied. Being humble, patient, a good listener, and diligent will get you everywhere.

Remembering what people do, what their skills are, essential. Remembering their names, a bonus. Remembering their handles if they play on line, you’re set!

Another thing is to understand that while the gig can require long hours and obviously commitment and dedication, the perception that you have to pound long hours to be making great games is an utter fallacy. Long hours really is a testament to poor planning, scheduling, and scoping practices. Long hours will happen, and often near big, important dates that can’t be slipped or missed, sure. However, good time management, solid risk assessment, aggressive scoping, and maintaining an accurate sense of where everyone else is at with their own work towards meeting their commitments, as well as how their work can affect your work now or down the line, all that is essential for maintaining productivity, sanity, and to reduce stress. Sure, games can be stressful, can be very stressful, and for sure, all those strong personalities, full of passion and ego and the rest, can get pretty hostile sometimes. Know when to step back, breath, and regain your objectivity. Learn how to pick your battles, how and when to compromise, and how to empower both yourself and the people around you.

Classic and universal truths really. Listen before you speak, consider the fuller implications of any commitment or decision, treat folks with respect, even if they slag or impede you constantly. There is most definitely a game within making a game, if not several.

3. Is there any certain type of muse you like to use to think of a new idea for a game?

I think I’m prone to spot systems in pretty much anything, patterns at least, and that leads to constant ideas or notions for gameplay applications thereafter. I carry a small digital camera around with me everywhere in case something catches my eye when I’m out about town. I also send messages to myself on my cell phone when ideas or thoughts pop into my head.

I draw inspiration from friends, co-workers, things I like or more often dislike in the games I play, films I watch, things I read, sites I see. I leave the news on a lot when I’m puttering around the crib, white noise mostly, though some knowledge seeps in and sticks, I’m sure.

I listen to a wide variety of music; and adore all sorts of geeky pursuits like painterly comics, designer toys, goofy t-shirts, big shoes, etc. though mostly I just like to hike around and browse this kind of stuff, rather than collect anything as I might have when I was a lot younger.

I have a deep seated distrust of mainstream culture, by the time something hits mainstream seems like all the sharp edges have been worn off, the sharp bit blunted by too many invested interests. So to that point, I get a kick out of anything clever, fresh, or new from any medium. Inversely, though, when something truly majestic happens, regardless of means of origin, I pay attention. I won’t limit myself or occlude anything without at least having a peek to decide for myself if there is anything to learn from it. Inspiration can come from anywhere, anything. A mood, a gut feeling, an urge to make something better, or not to repeat a mistake, or as easily be something non sequitur, like seeing nuns and having an epiphany on how to make the best trucker game ever.

So far though I’ve only addressed saturation as a muse. Processing what explodes, or doesn’t, upon your senses is equally important. Coders often take up hobbies that allow them to process their impressions, congeal them into thoughts, or simply to mull through existing problems that they might arrive upon some brilliant, or at least practical and feasible, solution. Hobbies like hiking, sports, playing mind numbing games laden with repetition or games heavy on twitch reflexes rather than mental exertion. I’ve known a few coders, though, that try to engage hobbies that exercise the other sides of their brains, like painting or writing or meditation. Guess all these hobbies are forms of meditation, means to process information and notions and impressions into practical product of some sort.

So in short, there is inspiration, and that can come from anywhere. Then there is what you do with it, and that is what truly matters.

4. How hard do you have to work to get recognized by game industry professionals? What about the amount of work when you're in the industry?

Think I’m still working to be recognized.

If you mean towards getting a job, initially the job pretty much fell in my lap. Well, not exactly. I wanted more out of college than I was getting, so I set up some independent studies classes with the dean of the art college, where I had enrolled for visual design. My work learning PhotoShop for digital illustration must’ve impressed him, he referred me to his buddy, the cat that I mentioned often compared working in games to hauling rocks for professional perspective.

I got an email, arranged for an interview, not knowing how to represent myself and of course over compensating like mad. I had a huge portfolio of illustrations, a deck of tarot cards I’d made for one of my studio classes. So much stuff, wearing an ugly as genocide tie and a tweed sport coat clearly three sizes to big for me. I get there, trying as best I could not to sweat, a bit slack jawed to be inside a game studio, let alone about to interview for a gig that would mean I’d get paid to make art.

The interview lasted less than 5 minutes. I walked in, shook hands with that huge Texan, sat down wondering what to do with my portfolio and such. Do I thrust it at him? I didn’t know the protocol at all. He sat down across the desk and asked what my favorite film was. I replied, “Blade Runner.” He raised one bushy eyebrow and asked why. “Immersion,” I said, trying to impress him with one of the words I’d learned just a week earlier in a functional design mid-term jury. He laughed and asked if I could start work the following Monday. I said sure, of course, then remembered I was still in school. Fortunately the studio and the campus were adjacent. He said they’d work around my class schedule, and I finished my BFA while working there some sixty to eighty hours a week. Sleep became the most precious commodity in the universe during those years, for sure. Because the projects were mismanaged nightmares, the dates insane, and all in all, because I loved every bit of it, though I’d be resonate to do that kind of mad schedule ever again.

He did eventually look at my portfolio, though at that point to see which team he’d end up sending me too. Years later I learned that I’d been offered the gig to work on a fishing game, something I hadn’t even thought to ask about at the time, too happy about getting the a gig, I guess. After seeing my goofy robots and amateur photoshop cyborg atrocities, he changed his mind and set me up doing textures for Starsiege. Giant robots, on-line multiplayer; what could be a more fantastic first gig than that for a kid still in college obsessed with toys, monsters, and robots?

Since then I’ve interviewed a lot of places, there is always a chance of changing studios after you ship a project, or become disinvested with a troubled one. Having a website portfolio definitely helps, I’ve still never had to show a portfolio to anyone in person, although I might were I a concept artist or animator. No, really, what matters is what projects you’ve done, who you know, and how well you’ll fit into the culture at a given studio. Some productions want people who know a specific program or style right off the bat, others will be willing to train a person on new tools if they think the person’s core skills and personality are a perfect fit. Never lie about knowing things you don’t, and frankly, downplay what you do know about what you do when you can, what I call the Scotty Factor, which is intended to both manage expectations while also affording you opportunity to look like a hero if you come in ahead of schedule, and not look like an ass for not getting something done on time should you run into trouble with it.

5. What were you doing before going into the game business? How did you lead into it?

Did a lot of things, but really glad I decided to move to the west coast and return to school, finish my degree, as that dovetailed so well into what has become my career. Still seems strange to even say that, that this is my career.

Someday I figure I’ll move on to something else, like retire and write goofy books at teach at some little coastal college or something. Right now I’m just glad to be continually challenged and inspired, a very wonderful thing indeed.

6. What software programs do you use daily in your job?

• Word for documentation
• Excel for planning and tracking assets, in game for the Text Bible that is used for on screen display of text and subsequently for localization
• Edit Plus for script editing
• Microsoft Visual C++ for making builds and getting debug info
• Maya 7 for gray blocking and for placing in gameplay items like triggers, spawn points, paths, props, etc.
• Perforce to submit, check in and check out assets to work on for the overall game, a big database sort of library program if you haven’t heard of it.
• Wiki
• PhotoShop 5.5 and CS for the 2D art stuff
• ACDSee
• The usual gambit of proprietary software and plug ins
• IE & Firefox
• iTunes, Divx, BSPlayer, etc.
• And never underestimate the power of the analog side: paper, post-its, pencils and pens, staples, sucktion darts, legos, play-doh. Essentially anything it takes to work through an idea, de- / construct a plan, or communicate an idea or point short of a brick. Or including, depending on your personal preferences.

7. Have you or do you attend regularly any gaming conventions (popular or

not) such as E3 or Stretegicon? Does attending them help you connect with the gaming community and what they want to play?

I’ve always been a fan of the San Diego Comicon myself, tho probably because games have such a minute presence there, though has been growing. Work has sent me to that a couple times on the well argued rational that the attendees represent a common audience with the cats that play games. Since I am inspired by the flotsam and jetsam of popular (and unpopular) culture, hitting that convention is like a super-soaker dose of geek all under one roof. So this is the one I’d recommend for learning what your audience wants to play, this one and PAX in Seattle by those cats from Penny Arcade.

I’ve been sent to E3 to man the closed curtain demo booth for Scarface, found the whole event to be pretty much a marketing thing, lotta noise and parties, a little networking, but didn’t feel to sad when the event folded.

Would like to go to PAX, but have yet to make it.

GDC has some awesome stuff, and excellent networking opportunities, and some great lectures long as you’re careful which ones you pick, lotta worthless ones too.

Siggraph is supposed to be awesome for tech specific seminars, but haven’t been.

8. Have you ever considered not going into the game business for fear of disliking games in the future? Or has it helped you further your love for games?

Not really. For every genre or game type worn stale through working in it, I’ve been exposed to several others I’d probably not have really ventured to try out if left on my own. Or might’ve, hard to say, since I have kind of a gamer ADD.

Good question. Yeah, I probably do play a lot more games than I might other wise, or at least sample more. The flip side of that is that I have a low tolerance for badly made or implemented games, and get distracted by flaws, bugs, bad balance, or inversely anything technically clever or mechanically insightful.

Working in games has definitely made it nearly impossible to get completely immersed in a game, true enough. There’s always a part of my brain analyzing the game from a developer’s perspective.

9. Is it important to make networking connections to get a job as it is building the perfect portfolio for the job?

Having solid foundation skills and sensibilities is essential.

Making network connections, in person or via professional forums or through academic channels is extremely worthwhile, long as the rapport you build is mutually interesting, invested, and beneficial. Social butterflies do well with marketing or sales type jobs were you sell a product through selling yourself.

Production type positions look more at your abilities technically, then as a potential contributor to the development culture, and referral definitely helps make either or both of those considerations appear more valid.

There is an adage in the industry that it’s more about who you know than what you do. Sort of tongue in cheek, though, because while referrals definitely can open more doors for interviews and the like, getting hired is something else entirely, and is based on the individual versus the ultimately subjective assessments of however many people you have the fine privilege of getting grilled by on the day.

And I don’t believe there really is a “perfect portfolio”. A dynamic, clean, efficient and accurately, fully representative website usually does the trick (again except for concept and animation, they need on the day books as well). Coders and Designers might have to do a test before hand or on the day to check style and skills, so portfolio doesn’t matter as much there.

An “on the day” or just “day” book is a portfolio, except streamlined. Simply a thin three ring binder with those plastic pages inside that hold standard paper is enough, both sturdy and easy to deal with. You can drop in about 20 to 40 pages of drawings or art, and demonstrate a range of skills from published work to personal. Avoid clichés except to demonstrate standard competencies.

For example, for an artist places like ILM and LucasArts want to see life drawing samples in addition to anything else, and a page of compiled sketches would work. For Designers and Writers, places might want to see writing samples, or mission scripts, while for a level designer, they might want to see maps and play through flow charts. It’s obviously contextual to who you’re going to interview with and what the job is, but a Day Book should be a best of best sample of work in a streamlined, non-ornate format, a garnish subset of your website or myspace or blog site, where the true breadth of your skills can bask for anyone wanting to know more to see.

For online representation, often best to have 2 sites, one for personal stuff your pals and such see, and one that is lean and mean for prospective employers to see. A casual site is great for networking. A clean, easy to navigate, clearly labeled, all the work is solid gold kind of site is perfect for those first contact occasions where you’re contacting employers, or they you. My site, for example, is a hybrid; but I have several other outlets for more personal or potentially controversial material, like a blog for rants or photo blog for shots of pubs and pals.

On that note, be sure to Google yourself, because trust me, any prospective employer most likely will.

10. Do you regular check up on discussion boards and internet forums over games and the reviews/opinions people give them?

I’ll just list the regular staples of my game related web diet:

·         http://www.metacritic.com/games/ for reviews

·         http://www.penny-arcade.com/ for ire, although maybe only a couple times a month

·         http://www.gamasutra.com/ the pinnacle resource and loaded with wonderful goodness like post-mortems, a robust job list, biz news, etc. More substance, less hype is always a bonus in my book.

·         http://www.msxbox-world.com/forums/index.php just discovered this one when looking for Crackdown maps, like the forums, though very unlikely I’d ever post anything

·         http://live.xbox.com/en-CA/profile/profile.aspx?pp=0&GamerTag=emonxie because I’m working on the 360 achievements for my current project, and in general like most of the live system a lot

Depending on your particular interests or discipline, there are lots of solid forum sites. Just again remember that you never know who you’re talking too, and maintain a solid, respectful presence. People remember who flamed them long after they’ve forgotten who said something nice. And some idiot spouting nonsense might be a kid from a juvenile hall somewhere, or might well be a senior coder for one of the big three, you just can never tell. Well, sometimes you can tell, but generally, just an open question. Nothing like finding out the person you’re about to work for is the same person who’s insipid kitten photo you’d mocked derisively on www.stuffonmycat.com or whatever. Ouch.

There are some great blogs out there as well, you’ll see posts linking to them from Penny Arcade and Gamasutra regularly, just remember to take anything you read with a grain of salt, since everyone, including me, is speaking from their own perspective, and sometimes those perspectives can be a bit, well, suspect. Hopefully not mine, but you know what I mean.

Every now and then something strikes the inside of the noggin glass and sticks like an introspective proctologist mosquito. Let's have fun and die, er- dine on a few fine exceptions to the file 13 rule.

When I woo a girl, I John Woo her, meaning, I throw birds at her 'n shit.

Om. Sunn. Converge. Cory Fuhr. Metal explorations of varied means.

Can tell devil rise, more suicide clubs.

Bored is the new crazy. Crazy is the new bored.

My ass is evil. Hear it chuckle contemptuously.

Ascot of the Vicious Gentry.

Impending internal inquisition.

First thing I ever pulled from a dream turned out to be a Valentine box full of maggots. I buried it in the back yard. A nasty tree grew. I just set fire to that tree.

Radio Babylon and on.

So I drove on up to Brooklyn to see a pimp 'n wish him well; double barrels of buckshot to send his ass to hell. 'N so you ask me why this sordid tale? 'Cause I bleedin' heavy and ain't no one else to tell...

Effect positive social change through paying out virtual on-line credits for real world acts of protest and civil disobedience.

I hate my hymen.

Arapaima. Look up soon.

Putrid dust, corpus Christi compound, daddy Xmas.

Idle tidings. Pineapple Express. Barcelona born toys. The man that dances on his fingertips. Crab King. Belle. MC Frontalot. Wise Guys.

Apotheosis versus Williams versus Apocalyptica versus 20's Delta Blues. Soundtrack to virgin respite.

Game of being human and trying to explain to someone never been.

Talking through a mouth fulla sausage (is only rude if among family.)

Siren muppet minks.

Bring home the Breaking.

Jeek. Lyrical fathom. Wanton myriad displays of ignorant bliss.

The 5th Panel.

Abortive Revisionist Fantasies.

Cranking cranberry juice and wondering where everything went so fucking right.

//unsubscribe

My good friend Sage has been dilligently honing his craft. 
Following is some feedback I gave him, though frankly, 
seems more about improving my own craft 
and bringing the poor boy along for the ride
than anything else, LOL.

Writing Exercise #11:  Tell Me Something Good

Scene Writing Goal: Use interesting descriptions to characterize a person, place, or thing.

EmonXie comments in red:
This is a great exercise, and practice as a whole. As you’re interests span a wide spread across the humanities, an excellent noti0n to slot time daily to hone parts, aspects, pieces as all shall contribute to the whole of anything to elect to embark upon later. Off the cuff, though, I would encourage you to explore outside of this genre, as rampantly and diversely as you can muster energy to do.

As an exercise, this is fine. I caution against advertising such intentions for subsequent posts. Qualifying the purpose or intention of a piece, as to better establish said piece, is fine. However, to mention up front that a particular piece is merely an of itself an exercise might to some appear then as little more than a novel jaunt or whim, basically, to say so declares the piece the testimony to a morning’s mental callisthenics, stretching some nouns, flexing some vowels, crunching some adverbs.

All fine and good until soliciting feedback upon it.

Declaring the piece an exercise before the reviewer or critic has had chance to chow upon it is like saying, “I made this with my eyes shut, what do you think?” effectively undermining potential objectivity, disqualifying the following reading from real critical scrutiny, disallowing constructive criticism by announcing the piece with a proclamation that practically holds up a stop sign and says, “yeah, I know it’s rough and basically worthless, but I want you to consider it anyway and either confirm or deny my opinion.” Like asking a companion to sip a drink you’ve just announced tastes uncannily like horse pee, after of course they’ve made the requisite joke about how you could possibly know what horse pee tastes like.

I make the same mistake all the time, like I'm front-loading insulation for my fragile feelings, putting my work down before anyone else gets the chance. Might seem like humility, but smells a lot like defeatism, or teen spirit, same difference.

I noticed you did some of that kind of undermining with your post for the pilot script as well, though not as much, clearly you’re far more confident and / or proud and / or feeling inclined to be readily open for lambasting for that one. Good, you should be, you’ve done a lot of solid, hard work there.

One tip, thank readers profusely for time and anticipated comments, that is humility, and thank them again when and if they post comments, even when the comments prove useless, simply courteous gratitude.

Also, never get defensive (though haven’t ever seen you inclined too), and even if someone gets personal, never take solicited comments as such. Avoid being defensive, engaging in flame wars, for no other reason as to be better, appear more mature, to give them no satisfaction, and in the end, to never have to worry that some snarky comment you posted way back when comes back to bite you in the arse. Google is eternal, after all, and trust me on that one, ouch.

OK, so hope that helps. Now, to help, I'm going to simple wreck your piece and rewrite it. I know, I know, that makes me the dick, who the hell do I think I am?!? I'm not trying to result with anything better. Rather, I would recommend printing out both versions, compare side by side, and see if you can spot what I’ve gone after or replaced. Not especially to know my mind on things, I'm as fallible as anyone, and more opinionated than most. No, instead see where changes have been made to better see one approach to how you might, through second pass editing, better second-guess yourself. Not second guess to mean undermine, and certainly never to compromise the integrity of your original vision. No, rather to see how you can deconstruct something you’ve written, see the pre-sum parts objectively, consider each as a jeweller might uncut stone or an tight-lipped oyster, all the while with the best interests of the overall piece or project in mind.

Glen left the cabin and walked out onto the deck of the ship. The world around him lightly swayed as the ship glided steadily on the warm surface of the ocean waters. Enticed by the lights on the horizon, he neared the lip of the deck, crossed his arms and took a whiff of the slightly pungent air. A moment passed before he registered that the stench was not an aroma abandoned by the sea, but a desperate plea for attention, coming from his own body.

Feeling restless, Glen abandoned the confines of his cabin to enjoy the open space of the top deck, He hoped to catch some air and to feel comforted by the all too familiar canopy of stars he would find cast overhead, perhaps competing with the moon for attention if clouds haven’t rolled in to blight out the view.

As he stepped out unto the gently rocking deck, he caught a whiff of unpleasant odour. He paused and considered the source. Dead fish? No. He dropped his chin to better assess his own musk and the results caused his face to wrinkle up. “Bleh,” he mumbled. “I should probably take a bath. Been on the move too long. Wonder if I’d even recognize a bathtub any more.”

Glen: “Bleh. I should probably take a bath. Been on the move too long, I might of forgotten how by now.”

He heard someone sigh and looked over to his left to see a young woman beside a cabin window, reclined against the wall of the deck. She was staring at the night sky, seemingly lost in its grandeur. He couldn’t help but to gazed upon the great empire of stars as well. He studied them for a moment, following their movement as they spread across his field of view, endless and majestic.  He had become accustomed to them of course; his first passion was astronomy after all.

Glen heard a shuffling noise and looked around to locate the source. The night sky lit up the deck well enough; the pregnant half moon slung low as if dive bombing the horizon shot the crests of the gently rippled surface of the sea with sharp blades of white glow. Still, Glen had to strain and squint a bit to make out the figure leaning against the bulkhead, a chiaroscuro form carved from shadows midst the gloom of what shadow the vessel’s towering stacks afforded. Glen could make out hips, a feminine bosom, a raised chin, perhaps taking in the stars.

Glen smiled as he vaguely remembered the innumerable hours he would spend as a child counting each and every one. That was before he could see the patters they held, before he could read them like the daily news and gain insights into the amazing things they had to say, such as what the weather would be like on the day he died.

He walked closer to the woman, continuing to look up at the stars.

He didn’t recognize her, but seldom did anonymity deter his curiosity, rather, more likely to inflame it. He glanced up again at the sky overhead, recalling long hours spent at his father’s knee learning to discern patterns and stories from all those flickering pin-pricks of light he’d fancied were cast by the massive lanterns of gods through tiny holes in the vast black velvet of the universe.

His childhood fancy hadn’t been far from wrong, Glen smiled slightly, warming at that thought.

Glen drew up his nerve, dropped his gaze from the sky overhead to again consider the woman leaning against the bulkhead. At this wee hour on the open sea, Glen thought, some company should always be welcome. Despite the ship’s vast scale and ample crew, standing on the deck and seeing the sea roll away toward the horizon, as infinite as a kitten’s appetite, might as well be huddled in a lifeboat with a tiger. Glen shrugged to bolster his resolve and walked towards where the woman stood. She didn’t appear to drop her gaze from the heavens.

Glen: “Their pretty nice right?”

The young woman slowly looked over at him and then turned her attention back towards the stars.

“They’re pretty nice, right?” Glen said this softly, as if afraid to awaken parents or the ship’s wildlife. Little fear of that, he thought, passed two of those little furry bastards making off with half a loaf of bread walking up here.

Young Woman:” I hate them.”

She turned her head too face him at an angle, barely dropping her chin, soft glint of light in her nearest eye. “I hate them,” she said simply, and turned her gaze back to the sky.

OK, at this point likely you get the idea. What I’m doing:

• Seed expositional details into the narrative, keeping them compact, clever if possible, or at least voiced in a manner appropriate to the character., to how the character would actually word such description, thus making the 3^rd person observations more personal, more tuned in, as intimate as possible. Otherwise, sounds as if being decreed from a mountain top, like some stilted epic, and that can alienate the reader.
• Imbed the dialogue. Scripts generally avoid exposition wherever possible, prose best reads when integrated. This is a hybrid of both formats, which pulls me out of it, anyway.
• Avoid clichés, not just expressions, but means of describing, unless setting up an expectation to subsequently reverse upon for comedic sake.
• Every scene should have beats; every beat should have change, be it conflict or reversal on precedents or expectations. Drama and comedy share this aspect, though comedy, depending on style, does it with more frequency or obvious layers.
• Punch things up every way you can, even is that means through downplaying something. Understatement is an imperative, actually. The less said the better.
• As an exercise, try writing something, then pull out every occurrence of the words “to, and, the, which, be, are” and see if the narrative still stands up. I’m horrible for verbosity, as you can see, and this trick has helped me really carve up, restructure, and inevitably streamline / clarify / sharpen my prose to ditch passive voice, run-ons (like this one, LOL), and meandering narratives that roll up too many ideas and end up alienating / confusing / boring the reader. I like crime novels and scripts for this reason, as an example of “just the facts, ma’am” narrative structures. Once you have that, easy enough to add some flourishes, some nuances, etc. as a deliberate, conscious effort.
• Flowery prose is dangerous territory, as the style has been milked for so long by advertisers and greeting cards. Look for stings, punches that will hook the reader, but be prepared to tread a fine line where you connect with a read versus coming off like a propaganda spew. Make no mistake, when writing, like advertisers, you are selling something, a story, an experience, a theme or succession of punch lines. Trick is not making your intent obvious, have your motives apparent or easily discerned, spotted as shtick or worse, as irrelevant frivolity. Don’t want be spotted as a used-car salesman of the word smith trade, so to speak.
• Keep at it, you’ll be kicking much ass in no time!

• Nostril Nuggets
• Bathtub Barfly
• Under Sink Exploration
• What Does This Pill Do?
• My Li’l Science Project
• Forking Sockets & Siblings
• What Floats?
• Down the Hole!
• Nose Packing
• What Fits In There?
• Piggy Bank
• Pushing Buttons
• Marking Territory
• Aroma Therapy
• Scoots & Bladders
• Falling Fun
• Feed the Kitty
• Babysitter Bedlam
• Scissor Sprint
• What Goes Down Must Come Up
• Li’l Gynecologist
• Li’l Proctologist
• The Littlest Dentist
• Nuts!

• Robot Armpits Are Always Fresh
• nothing like a midget to liven up a parade
• I like my beats like I like my women, phat n mean
• No one there 2 c, but me. UR biography.
• 7 Doors
• Need me 2
• Can the devil fall in love?
• Conversations about fish rickets
• I’m only dating you for your kidneys
• If gas is passed in a swamp and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? And if it does, is it low and bass heavy, or high, thin and reedy. There are reeds in swamps, right? So that would make sense...

Occasionally ideas occur to me while I'm tromping about, as might happen, whether from my own musings or perhaps form some random snippet of conversation I hear without context or back-story. Normally I’d make a note in my trusty sketchbook, but when I’ve decided to travel sans backpack, I have to turn to sending text messages to myself on my cell phone. As my cell phone won’t let me send text messages to myself, what I do is write a note, then back out of the message screen, which forces the phone to save the note in the Unsent messages folder. After a while, all those unsent messages add up, and I thought this time before clearing them out, I’d document them here, for the public record, a living testimony to just how stupid or odd the things are that strike my fancy enough to bother not sending it to myself.

There are 20 Unsent Items in my phone wee little memory right now. Here’s the joy:

1. How would you make smut intended for kids, or has Disney already done that?
2. Lick my rubbish pile. (Overheard a co-worker say it to another co-worker, though not intended the way it sounded.)
3. Zero Seat is too blame. (Overheard from an in-the-know off duty waitress trying to get my friend Olga at her parent’s café to split the bill by assigning items being paid for by multiple parties to a Zero Seat, while Olga simply stared back in utter disbelief that a woman could so smugly assert that the computer system her work uses would be some universal truth for all food serving establishments in North America.)
4. Shadow puppets over the gutter.
5. Is there a market for the resale of previously used condoms?
6. Let the party in! (Chorus for a metal song I’ve been writing in my head about Dante’s Inferno and well digging.)
7. Weregay.
8. Candy Corn.
9. Dressing the kill. (Punch line to joke about why a gay man might enjoy hunting, until finding out that “dressing the kill” has nothing to do with banana fringed polyester pantsuit tributes to the masculine virility of Tony Curtis. Didn’t say it was a good joke.)
10. When the walls are all glass, there is nowhere to hang paintings. (Overheard, thought sounded profound, but was likely just someone with an interest in interior decoration bitching to their friend about the overly glass laden design of the Cole Harbor condos.)
11. The Butter Machine. (Literary reference from my friend Olga about a poem that consisted of a title on the top of a blank page that baffles literary critics to this very day.)
12. Cannon.
13. The way the vines search for soil.
14. Full metal. Jacket. Birth. Propagate.
15. Diggadikdik. (Liked the phonetic rhythm, came from thinking about Gangsta rap songs intended for Muppet / puppet audiences, called Mupsta Rap and Hand-Hop.)
16. Conciliatory.
17. Do nothing you’ll regret, and you’ll surely regret nothing.
18. Hey, Mantits!
19. By the way, any ideas yet?
20. Without fresh batteries, I can’t vibrate!

Heya!

Had a great break,  hope you did as well! Very low key, which at my age, is simply wonderful!

So, you want to be a professional artist?!? Lotta things too consider, honestly. Wish to heck there was an easy answer, but there isn't. So, instead, I'm going to ask a lot of questions, stuff you probably should be asking yourself, k? And if you can answer me, or yourself, well, all the better for then I can better advise and you can better narrow down the options you'd like to pursue. Coolio? And yeah, expect a lot of incidental commentary as well, because that’s what I'm known for , right?

So, following are questions I wish I'd asked decades before I did, k?

1. What do I want to be when I grow up? Me, I wanted to be famous. Pretty simple, right? Famous for the work I'd produced, sure, or in short of that, then by 40 simply famous for killing a lot of people, all the better should those victims be famous, yeah. Sounds cynical, but trust me, when you hit your thirties, it'll seem a lot more possible.

2. I appreciate your kind words about my work. Even as jaded as I might appear to be, or really actually might be, such praise from anyone is simply cause enough to go out, get annihilated, and thank some deity for the day after between dry heaves and promises to myself or otherwise that I will never, ever, drink again. Trust me, praise in this industry is short in coming, and if that is the reason for your interest, get out now, run and never, simply ever look back!

3.  Everything you can? Trust me, that alone is a very dangerous phrase or expression. Are you sweating through the night? Are you unable to ever sleep? Are you incessantly pitching game ideas to friends and family? Are you drawing with anything on everything you come in contact with? Everything is a very comprehensive term, used too lightly could be construed as meaning consent to degrading things, like voluntarily watching Paris Hilton ET interviews or Ashley Simpson music videos. Everything means you've hit wit's ed and have no further recourse in your frustration but to email th likes of me. Might be true, but aga in please trust me, don't admit this to readily! Even I would like to make believe that I might be the first and only person on the mighty web you elected to contact!

4. Never, like EVER, submit a website link you're not enthralled with yourself! If you want work , pitching yourself with a website you feel you need to disclaim is simply wrong. Either pitch it like you don't know it sucks, or fix it up to not suck. No in-between. A cautionary note to the prospective viewer basically guarantees no inspection. I cast peeps for the hell of it, and you have a good wrist! Otherwise, frankly, why would I bother writing this response? Pitch the best of yourself, in other words. Show work you're most happy with AND best demonstrates the breadth of your skill set. Landscapes to nude figure studies. Demonstrations of production design, web interface design, level design, commemorative Spam can proposals, etc. Demonstrate your strengths and the diversity / flexibility of your skills rather that a link following a disclaimer.

5. OK, I'm being a jerk now, and I realize that, and pray you'll forgive me on the longer haul. Just read your "About Me" bit, and feel worry for a variety of reasons. First, it's cliché on a scale close to that of the fifth season of Brother. However, appreciating the need for any artist to "put themselves out there" and present a identity, a MANIFESTO of sorts, I'll simply recommend that the "About Me" be either exactly that, a manifesto devoid of anecdotes or witticisms expressing the potentially painful truths of you sheer and unbridled agenda, OR a living, breathing doctrine that is as fluid as your life actually truly is, like an imbedded blog linked from your homepage, something to appease and entertain and ultimately entice the predominantly male and likely well older than your teachers or parents people you're hoping to work for. Sorry to pop any bubbles here, but employers in the entertainment industry are a fickle bunch; crass and brazen as the worst incidental extra on any bad Saved By The Bell episode. You want a gig, use the About Me portion of your site to either sell your agenda, as in selling the integrity of you, or to sell a cult of yourself, as in a creature of mythic proportions that at worst equates to a car crash that can not be turned away from.

6. Website interaction. OK, this is more pet peeve territory than anything, but if I have to click more than once to see a piece, I get annoyed. I have to click more than once to see a subsequent piece, I close the browser window. I'm not alone in this. Unless there is some really great Not Safe For Work material on those pages, tedium will make your page more unwelcome than an extra child on Father's Day. Keep your portfolio, AKA "Hire Me", pages as clean, fast and sublime as possible. No animated gifs or flash pages that point to un-linked pages or email addresses. Just clean, fast, tight, economic, ergonomic, balls in your face (metaphorically speaking, of course) pages that announce, pronounce, resound and subsequently confirm your intent, skills, methods of mayhem, and practicums of performance. Think of your prospective employers of clients as aimless drifters out in the ether of the world needing your guidance, your visdion, your commitment, your drive. At the very least, your clenched fist steadfastly clasped around their frugal balls. You must approach this as an industry of owning them before they can even think of owning you to survive and make a living at it,. Consider anything publicly a privilege and you're setting your career back by months, maybe even years. Sure, you might feel grateful, perhaps rightfully so. Don't so it except through minute and generally deferral measures to the very people most able to inspire and educate you. See below.

7. People wiling to teach you? Learn! Worship them even, if they warrant such extravagance, or buy them beer, just find out what kind they might like. Mentors about, but worthwhile ones do not. Find one, a good one, treat them better than you would an invalid, even one you might happen to be related too.

8. CV. Too long, too wordy, too much about seeming to make mountains out of molehills or cancer out of underarm pimples. Hours per week? Full time is assumed, and in games, salary may be 45 hours a week, but unless you’re management, full time means 65. Spinning tasks into epic feats doesn’t help, unless you’re looking for a gig in Marketing. Just the facts, ma’am, and really nothing but.

9. Website Clarity. Under Logos is a snake that isn’t in and of itself a logo, no matter how much it might personally want to be. First, avoid the temptation to preface your work as you have at the stare of your Portfolio page, both to reduce lag to the work prospective employers might want to see, and also to reduce the amount of potentially redundant, if not at least blindingly obvious, verbiage you could present. For example, of course this is a worthy sampling of your best work, otherwise why are you asking me to purview it? True, I personally have a soft spot for peoples’ worst work, but in general, if the work sucks, don’t show it, except for the sheer audacity of the inherent comedic value of the pieces.

10. Skills. Although the most concise page of the bunch, this could also be further simplified, or should the CV / resume page suffice, removed al together. Most of this page look great, except for the Drawing entry. Frankly, the annotation “drawing,” or more specifically should need arise, “Traditional Illustration Techniques.” Simplify and contextualize your skills into ways your prospective employers will appreciate, and you will go far. Not